Looking for Gems (in old journals)

......in old notebooks and journals.


9/11/1995

Psychological sensory censors.  Right now I really feel that I need to write down that phrase and remember it.  I am channeling right now.  I am the oracle.  The Oracle at Delphi.  Ask me anything, but no one is asking me questions.  So much untapped potential.  Pause.

The layers of time have peeled away and for this brief moment I am myself with the dust cleared away, clean and glowing.  I have been purified at the well.

These are the tracks of my time on this planet.  The magical word.  Every world is magical.  (did I just write world?)  WORD.

A sad tomato.

The layers of time must be peeled away so that new growth can occur.  The rose bush must be pruned.  The grain must be harvested.  The leaves must be swept away and the earth left bare and clean for winter.  I have in my mind a picture (I see a vision!  Arnold Lobel, Fables.)  The cat and his visions.  Anyway, a picture of our front yard on an overcast winter day.  The grass is short and gray- green, the sidewalk swept bare.  The concrete steps lead down into the dark street, the first drops of a cold, windy rain falling down....the yew bushes show deep green down in the corner of my vision.  I am wearing my gray gloves and my cheeks and nose are cold.  I turn into the warm, faintly glowing -with- golden- light house and put water on for tea.  I light some candles.  It is afternoon.  I have the house to myself.  It is a cozy nest.  I see myself in my surroundings.


My self is in my surroundings, mirrored there because they are my surroundings.  Is this....this here....my uncovered self??  Why did I come here so urgently this evening?  Now I am here again, not in my vision.

It feels good to be clean.  I would say that I can see clearly now, if it didn't sound so sickeningly silly.

Ha!                                                                                                                                  ^^               ^^